Training reflections – Maira Jorba

I’m just back from another week of training on the Hakomi method. I am finding it especially difficult to land this time around, maybe because, as one of my fellow students said, ‘feels like we all dropped into a deeper level of love and connection’.

I sat down to write what I had noticed during the training that I valued:

I feel safe to be myself in whatever way this shows: vulnerable and teary, angry, touched and emotional, laughing raucously or confused and insecure.
Even though I am in a class-like environment, where as a child I had to follow certain rules of behaviour which caused contraction and rigid holding, I now know I learn best when I tune into my body’s needs and honour them, and I feel like I have been given permission to do so there. I lay down, get up for a cuppa, seldom take notes, listen with closed eyes and carefully choose how to spend breaks so that I can better take in the teachings.
My favourite mode of relating (mindful) is not only respected but valued. Which means I find it easier to slow down when relating to others and my system doesn’t get overwhelmed.
There is sensitive, affectionate touch, warm connections and lots of tenderness as our hearts open in the exercises, the demos and the sharings.
There is a huge depth of experience and connection shared as we play therapists on one another, a lot more than in my daily life, which so nourishing for a depth lover like me.
The inner places where I feel inadequate or flawed are witnessed with compassion, held with love and explored with curiosity.
There is space to explore the areas that feel loose, unfinished, untidy or pending and feel like I make progress.

As I wrote this list, I realised these are all qualities I would like to bring more into my daily life, especially at work. I thought I’d choose two, and aim to practice in the next few weeks. These are the first two I chose:

I want to give myself enough inner safety that I can be transparent in whatever emotional state I am wherever I am, especially at work, which I experience as an environment subtly but pervasively ruled by fear.

I want to give myself permission to honour my body’s needs, as I know I perform a lot better when I do, rather than feel like I need to follow certain rules of behaviour.

How will I bring those into my weekly shifts will be my next question… If you resonate, I’d love to hear from you!