Is intense painful or powerful?
Intense becomes painful when we resist. My most powerful experience of that was giving birth to my second child. I chose not to have any pain medication, and found my instinctive reaction was to resist the powerful contractions that were surging my body, to protect myself from the feeling that I was being torn open. Knowing I really wanted to allow my baby through made it easier to go with the waves. I consciously grounded with every one of them, I opened up to the sensations, I embodied a whole-being YES. And I discovered that going with along with it all was actually incredibly empowering. I felt like a lioness, I roared and laughed out loud and enjoyed it so much I would give birth for a job if that was possible.
I realised since that energy always moves in waves, all energy; and that the same principle applies every time: what I think is painful it’s actually powerful; pain happens if I contract against it in resistance. That is especially inspiring when it applies to emotions, I believe (just in case you didn’t know, emotion = energy in motion).
When the father of my children is angry at me, it is a very intense experience. If I listen to the scared little girl inside that is desperate for approval, his anger feels like is going to kill me. Yet, when I remember that I might be the trigger but his emotions have actually nothing to do with me, I am able to welcome the anger, and the whole exchange becomes extraordinarily powerful. Then the space is laid for a truly healing experience in which I know myself not to be at fault, and he has a chance of finding under this anger what is really hurting inside, because I am not reacting.
When my very new lover goes on a long trip, the emotions surging through are of an intensity I have not experienced for 20 years. If I tell myself I don’t want to be here or feel this, it becomes heart wrenching. If I welcome it, the full potential for transformation and healing can be expressed, and what surfaces goes well beyond my missing him. It goes into a deep, deep grief of not being able to adore myself the way he does now, not having grown with parents that saw in me the beauty he sees, not having internalised this state of being and feeling ALWAYS like a Goddess, regardless of whether he is here to evoke that feeling.
Life can be truly intense. When we welcome the intensity, we become empowered. Does this resonate with you?
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